Wiki (n.) A web site in permanent Beta

Bitchtorrent: Bitchtorrent (n.) The peer-to-peer protocol that women use to exchange information, more politely called "bluetoothing".

Bitchtorrent allows two peers to trade torrents of information, based on mutual valuation of the quality of, and specific content of, torrents. The source of a torrent, its freshness, and its relevance are combined into a self-ranked score. The peer will then upload fragments of the torrent in exchange for fragments of another torrent of equally ranked score. A common honesty enforcement strategy is "full box / empty box", in which each peer responds to a fragment they receive with a fragment they estimate to be of equal value.

As a protocol, Bitchtorrent can be implemented in any human language, and Bitchtorrent implementations are compatible between all cultures, suggesting that the Bitchtorrent package is implemented automatically, at boot time.

In general, female human brains (including those of many homosexual men) implement Bitchtorrent from the onset of puberty, or earlier, while male brains do not have Bitchtorrent capability. In contrast, all females understand Woofing from a very early age, and dominant females speak Woofing when talking to men.

Bitchtorrent traffic acts as a status indicator in human society. That is, female social status is based on their Bitchtorrent upload ratio and the quality of their peer network, as well as on the size of the car their husband bought them.

Bitchtorrent is a competitive protocol, meaning that peers gain more value as they learn to use the protocol better. Principally, peers learn to bluff up the value of the information they hold ("it's a secret!"), bluff down the value of that held by the other ("oh, yes, I knew that"), and rapidly detect cheats while avoiding the "cheat" label oneself. We can safely assume that this competitive aspect has driven the evolution of Bitchtorrent since the first female hominid explained to another where she had found those amazingly pretty stones, over a million years ago.

Bitchtorrent is also a persistent peering protocol, meaning that once a peering relationship has been established, it continues indefinitely until explicitly broken by one of the parties through public pronouncement ("I'm never speaking to her again!"). When two peers are separated for a time, and then reconnect, they synchronize their torrents, a process that can take many hours, even days.

Females thus build different Bitchtorrent networks depending on their age and the importance of the information they can share. From one to ten years, with close relatives including both parents, and for practice with any other females of close age. During the intensity of puberty, with sisters, and close friends. From adulthood, as skill and discrimination improves, with anyone.

For several reasons, but mainly because they speak Woofing to their offspring, parents with a male brain (usually but not all nor only fathers) do not usually manage to peer properly with their female offspring. It can happen in the case of sole fathers who spend the time to learn fluent Bitchtorrent.

  • City: City (n.) 1. A large urban center that is built by successive waves of upwardly-mobile immigrants and run by generations of political elites that hate immigrants. 2. A large collection of buildings maintained at expense to be optimal homes for cockroaches and rats. [power society trade]
  • Music: Music (n.) Acoustic vibrations that resonate pleasurably with the brain. [mind]
  • Survival: Survival (n.) The art of so far, so good. [epicfail]
  • Government: Government (n.) A social structure that regulates trade and punishment. [ethics]
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  • Tolerance: Tolerance (n.) Acceptance of self. [you]
  • Money: Money (n.) A token representing a share in a social contract between state and citizen. [money power]
  • Silence: Silence (n.) The sound of something really terrible just about to happen. [epicfail]
  • Time: Time (n.) The difference between yesterday and tomorrow. [chaos]
  • Software: Software (n.) The expression of human stupidity in computer-executable form. [stupidity toys]
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  • Optimist: Optimist (n.) Someone who either understands that life is pointless, or hopes that it is. [you]
  • Pension: Pension (n.) Something your parents got. [greed money]
  • Derivative: Derivative (n.) Maths used as economic warfare. [greed violence]
  • Investment: Investment (n.) A form of wealth redistribution in which the rich convince the middle class to hand over their life savings in exchange for a temporary adrenalin rush. [money stupidity]
  • Panic: Panic (n.) The realization that the bear is catching up on you. [food]
  • Africa: Africa (n.) A large continent that acts as a prison for most of the world's poor black people. [disease power prison trade]
  • Football: Football (n.) A primitive form of soccer. [sport]
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  • Motherhood: Motherhood (n.) In which a woman gives up the stress and loneliness of a career for the comfort of family and children. Considered to be a state of failure by many feminists and politically correct thinkers. [female power]
  • Feminism: Feminism (n.) The belief that women can be free only by being more masculine than men. [female power]
  • Committee: Committee (n.) An organizational structure designed to prevent distressing amounts of initiative and change. [groups stupidity]
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  • Us: Us (n.) Everyone except you. [you]
  • Internet: Internet (n.) A bunch of tubes, run by pirates, which strangled the music industry. [communications mind]
  • Truth: Truth (n) That which, when the lies and inaccuracies are removed, remains. [truth]
  • Random: Random (adj.) Measured with insufficient accuracy. [chaos truth]
  • Journalism: Journalism (n.) A form of fiction in which the lies are well disguised. [fiction]
  • Unemployment: Unemployment (n.) A type of social exclusion that is worse than some forms of slavery. [money society]
  • Employment: Employment (n.) A form of slavery that is better than most of the alternatives. [money]
  • Guilt: Guilt (n.) An illogical regret at having gotten away with it. [stupidity]
  • Battery: Battery (n.) Portable civilization. [technology]
  • Car: Car (n.) The best argument against economic development. [stupidity]
  • Backup: Backup (n.) Like experience, something you don't have when you actually need it. [stupidity technology]
  • Computer: Computer (n.) A convenient place to store all your precious data, before it crashes. [technology]