Democracy: Democracy (n.) An imaginary form of government in which the will of the people is expressed through a series of so-called "elections".
Democracy is perhaps best captured by the t-shirt slogan, "Don't forget to vote! Next time we promise to count." In the best case, the elected leader will be the most popular sociopath. In the worst case, it will be the sociopath best at making the other sociopaths even less popular and/or disappear. The one positive aspect of democracy is that it does pit the sociopaths against each other, thus leading to ideal states like Belgium, which, with seven governments, at least three of which are in crisis at any time, ensures full employment for all politically-minded criminals and gangsters.
In the United States, "democracy" is comparable to a sports event with two (never more!) teams, cheerleaders, music, flags, and lots of beer. US "democracy" is not an intellectual exercise. Each team attempts to get the highest score, the winner gets control over the world's most powerful army and secret services for four years, and the right to steal as many dollars as they can transfer to off-shore bank accounts through fraudulent contracts with their friends' companies. The highest score is calculated by who makes the most wounding, and creative insults. It's like two groups of gangsters playing "yo mama is so fat…" to decide who gets control of the ghetto.
Historically, the United States has made a habit of exporting its "democracy" to other countries, usually through destructive, and highly profitable, wars. A state of permanent war forms a large part of the "democratic process".
- City: City (n.) 1. A large urban center that is built by successive waves of upwardly-mobile immigrants and run by generations of political elites that hate immigrants. 2. A large collection of buildings maintained at expense to be optimal homes for cockroaches and rats. [power society trade]
- Music: Music (n.) Acoustic vibrations that resonate pleasurably with the brain. [mind]
- Survival: Survival (n.) The art of so far, so good. [epicfail]
- Government: Government (n.) A social structure that regulates trade and punishment. [ethics]
- Monopoly: Monopoly (n.) The resting point of unchecked corporate interests. [money power]
- Tolerance: Tolerance (n.) Acceptance of self. [you]
- Money: Money (n.) A token representing a share in a social contract between state and citizen. [money power]
- Silence: Silence (n.) The sound of something really terrible just about to happen. [epicfail]
- Time: Time (n.) The difference between yesterday and tomorrow. [chaos]
- Software: Software (n.) The expression of human stupidity in computer-executable form. [stupidity toys]
- Civilisation: Civilisation (n.) An extended holiday. [epicfail oil]
- Pessimist: Pessimist (n.) Someone who fears that life does have a point, but does not get it. [you]
- Optimist: Optimist (n.) Someone who either understands that life is pointless, or hopes that it is. [you]
- Pension: Pension (n.) Something your parents got. [greed money]
- Derivative: Derivative (n.) Maths used as economic warfare. [greed violence]
- Investment: Investment (n.) A form of wealth redistribution in which the rich convince the middle class to hand over their life savings in exchange for a temporary adrenalin rush. [money stupidity]
- Panic: Panic (n.) The realization that the bear is catching up on you. [food]
- Africa: Africa (n.) A large continent that acts as a prison for most of the world's poor black people. [disease power prison trade]
- Football: Football (n.) A primitive form of soccer. [sport]
- Fishing: Fishing (n.) A sport that unites the world's richest and poorest in pursuit of the same aquatic prey. [food sport]
- Insurance: Insurance (n.) A form of gambling in which the house always wins, even if it burns down. [money]
- Success: Success (n.) A temporary stay of defeat. [epicfail]
- Friday: Friday (n.) One of the greatest achievements of the modern trade union movement. [beer]
- Free Trade: Free trade (n.) An ideal economic system in which the powerful are free to define the terms of trade. [economics]
- Motherhood: Motherhood (n.) In which a woman gives up the stress and loneliness of a career for the comfort of family and children. Considered to be a state of failure by many feminists and politically correct thinkers. [female power]
- Feminism: Feminism (n.) The belief that women can be free only by being more masculine than men. [female power]
- Committee: Committee (n.) An organizational structure designed to prevent distressing amounts of initiative and change. [groups stupidity]
- Artificial intelligence: Artificial intelligence (n.) The extension of collective intelligence using technological solutions. [mind society]
- Us: Us (n.) Everyone except you. [you]
- Internet: Internet (n.) A bunch of tubes, run by pirates, which strangled the music industry. [communications mind]
- Truth: Truth (n) That which, when the lies and inaccuracies are removed, remains. [truth]
- Random: Random (adj.) Measured with insufficient accuracy. [chaos truth]
- Journalism: Journalism (n.) A form of fiction in which the lies are well disguised. [fiction]
- Unemployment: Unemployment (n.) A type of social exclusion that is worse than some forms of slavery. [money society]
- Employment: Employment (n.) A form of slavery that is better than most of the alternatives. [money]
- Guilt: Guilt (n.) An illogical regret at having gotten away with it. [stupidity]
- Battery: Battery (n.) Portable civilization. [technology]
- Car: Car (n.) The best argument against economic development. [stupidity]
- Backup: Backup (n.) Like experience, something you don't have when you actually need it. [stupidity technology]
- Computer: Computer (n.) A convenient place to store all your precious data, before it crashes. [technology]