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Female Orgasm: Female orgasm (n.) During sexual intercourse, an unfakeable indicator that the male is capable of giving women intense pleasure.

Many scientists have examined the female orgasm and yet found no link between the frequency of orgasms in women, and their sexual success. They have thus concluded that the female orgasm is an accident of evolution. This ignores that there are at least five distinct pathways to orgasm in the female.

There is, of course, a strong link between female orgasms and sexual success in the male. In other words, a man capable of giving such pleasure to his female partners will have more success than a man who is not, other attributes such as wealth, power, and looks being equal.

The female orgasm is a mechanism for sexual selection of the male, and has evolved over the last millions of years as a barrier that males must climb over to convince their partners that they are special. Their speciality is no more or less than their ability to climb over this barrier, backed up by the time and energy that takes.

Over years, the female genome has pushed this barrier higher and higher, a gentle arms race between the genders. We can postulate that males have gotten gentler and more patient since we split off from our ape cousins.

Difficulty with orgasm is, in the female, not a sexual disorder, but a sign of a healthy barrier that excludes all but the highest quality males. Indeed, women who have orgasms easily with any partner can be considered abnormal in this respect.

The evolution of the female orgasm as a sexual selection mechanism can be trivially proven by correlating the ability in males to climb that wall with frequency and diversity of their sexual partners. Second, to eliminate causation in the other sense by asking women to express a preference. Third, to show that this talent is inherited.

The female orgasm can also be considered as part of the "black market" in sexuality. Women are overtly attracted to males for their power and ability as providers. Orgasms play no part in this. Indeed, a woman might prefer a husband who cannot climb that wall, since her garden is not the only one around. However, when a women seeks a lover on the side, especially if she intends (as a significant proportion of women do) to have children with one man while attributing them to another, this talent becomes a paramount selector.

Again, trivially proven by interviewing women: if you were married, would you choose a lover on the basis of their power and wealth, or their ability to give you frequent, deep orgasms.

Social regulation that forbids sex before marriage can be seen as a tactic by which men collude to prevent women pre-selecting them on this basis.

  • Hell: Hell (n.) The first invention of any organized religion, following the basic technique of mass marketing that to sell a product you must first scare customers into wanting it. [marketing power]
  • Saints: Gods (n.) Modern thinkers recognize four principal saints: Darwin, saint of the necessary accident; Newton, saint of necessary accidents involving motorbikes and fast cars; Streisand, saint of the freedom of speech, and Sturgeon, saint of life mostly sucking. [religion]
  • We: We (n.) Everyone except you. [society you]
  • Female Orgasm: Female orgasm (n.) During sexual intercourse, an unfakeable indicator that the male is capable of giving women intense pleasure. []
  • Spirituality: Spirituality (n.) A state of mind whereby an individual successfully ignores all inconvenient evidence and facts. In the perfect spiritual state, the real world ceases, temporarily, to exist at all. [confusion]
  • Breasts: Breasts (n.) Twin fatty deposits on the chest of the mature human female. The purpose of breasts is to attract males by indicating fertility and availability. [sex]
  • Negotiation: Negotiation (n.) The art of saying you don't want it, and even if you did, you aren't the one who decides. [power]
  • Diary: Diary (n.) A type of virtual Bitchtorrent peer invented by a frustrated teenage girl. [communications female]
  • Woofing: Woofing (n.) The canine command-and-control language that men use to self-organize. As in the common female complaint, "he's Woofing, instead of listening to me". [communications male]
  • Bitchtorrent: Bitchtorrent (n.) The peer-to-peer protocol that women use to exchange information, more politely called "bluetoothing". [communications female]
  • Bluetoothing: Bluetoothing (v.) The communication pattern by which two, or rarely, three, mature human females will synchronize their mental data sets using wireless acoustic signals to trade units of knowledge and information in a private setting. [communications female]
  • Beauty: Beauty (n.). In women, an aspect that makes them socially mobile. In objects, high levels of useful functionality, relative to the observer's needs. [female hair male sex]
  • Gangster: Gangster (n.): A rich boyfriend, but a poor husband. [gene male power]
  • Girlfriend: Girlfriend (n.): a female companion that young men must acquire by fifteen to avoid strange looks. [gene]
  • Boyfriend: Boyfriend (n.): banned, tolerated, accepted, and finally embarrassing. [gene power]
  • Parent: Parent (n.): An adult with an offspring, who dedicates an hour or more, every day, to that offspring. [sex]
  • Society: Society (n.) Equal parts of beggar, baker, bureaucrat, and bandit. [society]
  • Male: Male (adj.) That gender destined to ultimately be replaced by a computer program. [stupidity]
  • Promises: Promises (n). "I love you", "Your check is in the post", "I'll call you", and finally "I promise not to sue you". [lies money power]
  • Open Source: Open source (n.) A form of software written cheaply by young often unpaid programmers, packaged by large businesses, safely patented for its own defence, and then sold at significant profit to major firms, in the form of "support licenses". [money patents software]
  • Death: Death (n.) 1. An irrecoverable crash, resulting in full data loss. 2. The point in which a player is removed from the game. [epicfail]
  • Life: Life (n.) A game in which most of the game consists of discovering the rules, and then realizing that everyone loses. [epicfail]
  • Democracy: Democracy (n.) An imaginary form of government in which the will of the people is expressed through a series of so-called "elections". [power]
  • Beard: Beard (n.) A hairy covering of the lower part of the adult male face that reduces the noise-to-signal ratio of the facial area. The result is to make hairy adult males look more like other hairy adult males. [genes hair male violence]
  • State: State (n.) Generally, "the State" refers to a ruling national authority. [violence]
  • Bush-whacked: Bush-whacked (adj.) Severely damaged due to malign larceny disguised as incompetence. Also, "Bushed". [epicfail]
  • Zebra: Zebra (n.) An African wild horse, especially skilled at hiding, from lions, among other zebras. Edible. [food group]
  • Recession: Recession (n.) A shocking, sudden collapse in economic activity after only years of clear warning signs. [epicfail money]
  • Business: Business (n.) (1) The art of hating your suppliers, destroying your competitors, and despising your customers in the pursuit of profits. (2) War in suits. [money]
  • Darwin: Darwin (n.) One of the two gods of survival along with Newton. [darwin newton]
  • Burnout: Burnout (n.) A post-traumatic stress disorder caused by excessive investment in an imbalanced project. [pain]
  • Crash: Crash (n.) The sound of a bubble bursting. [epicfail money]
  • Housing Market: Housing Market (n.) The only market where governments deliberately create inflation. [economics]
  • Mathematician: Mathematician (n.) A kind of programmer who never makes mistakes, so needs no computer. [mind]
  • Theory: Theory (n.) An analysis that can never be entirely right, but can be entirely wrong. [stupidity]
  • Oil: Oil (n.) The remains of ancient bacteria, conveniently liquefied and converted to pure combustible hydrocarbons. [oil]
  • Love: Love (n.) A blinding smugness emanating from one's genes when they think they have found a perfect match. [genes]
  • Disease: Disease (n.) The undesirable state of being a microbe's lunch buffet. [darwin disease]
  • President: President (n.) Like a king, but without the burden of history. [power]
  • Hero: Hero (n.) A powerful man who has successfully hidden all his vices and weaknesses. [people]
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